Tag Archive: dancing


Here are a couple of thoughtful and informative pieces on the benefits of ballroom dance.  How have you benefitted from ballroom dance?  Comments are open…, we’d like to hear from you! 

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Lesson One: Adaptation

Here is what you can expect at your first dance lesson together.

When you walk into the studio you’ll be walking as you would normally. You might be holding hands or maybe walking arm-in-arm, but it will feel very natural like you’ve been doing it for many years, which you have. It is much like when you were living on your own. There wasn’t anyone impeding or altering how you lived your life. You moved about with little or no thought to how you might be affecting someone else. You enjoyed a freedom only experienced solo. But everything changes when you start walking, dancing or living with someone, as you are about to see. 

Your instructor leads you onto the dance floor and says something comforting to relax you and then adds “You know, dancing is just like walking. The only difference is that you have to walk completely synchronized with another person in your arms while moving to the music and avoiding the other traffic on the dance floor.” At which point you forget the part about it being just like walking and start to worry about smashing your partners toes or something even more horrifying. Yes again, it is like your relationship or marriage; you are no longer able to live life without consideration for your partner. If you do, you’re going to step on your partners toes or, dare I say, even something more horrifying.

As you learn to move together on your first dance lesson or in life you’ll find yourself constantly adapting to your partners movement. Over time both partners will develop a sensitivity to the others nuances, quirks and habits. You’ll learn to hold each other in a consistent fashion and make your strides move in harmony. As you develop this ability to move together you will be rewarded with a sense of accomplishment, and probably require less bandaging or other medical attention. But remember that as partners you will most likely each learn at a different pace. This will require additional adaptation and adjustment.

As your first lesson comes to an end you breathe a sigh of relief. Hopefully you’ve experienced a little success and have adapted to moving in each others arms.  If not, don’t worry, you’re not trying to be Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. You’re just there enjoying each others company and investing in the quality of your relationship.

Until next time; see you on the dance floor!

Every Marriage Needs a Little Salsa

Sunset, mango salsa, live Latin music, my wife Tracy.  These are the ingredients for a perfect date for me.  Yes, I’m a man; and yes most of the time a woman would be more inclined to describe a perfect date with these ingredients.  The truth is, and every married man that takes his wife dancing knows what I’m about to say, husbands that dance get more…, respect.  Honestly, this one activity incorporated into date night exponentially helps my wife feel more loved.  And that leads to a number of fringe benefits. 

My wife and I have taught ballroom dancing as a vocation, and currently as an avocation, for many years.  We became professionals with the Arthur Murray Studios in our 20s and have never lost the love that we have for teaching dance.  And after all these years we continue to see that couples who dance together generally have better relationships and deeper intimacy.  Not only that, but just about every couple we’ve taught proclaims that learning to dance together parallels learning to have a better relationship.  And it’s true; the couples that look the best on the dance floor have learned to be better partners.  They understand their individual roles and know how to enhance their partnership.  “They move as one” is often how you hear their dancing described.  “Moving as one” is a great way for a marriage or significant relationship to be described.  And just like learning to dance, it isn’t easy.  It takes understanding and intentionality to become a better partner.  It also takes practice.  Practice doesn’t make perfect but it does make permanent. 

If you’re looking for a way to light the fire in your relationship or simply turn up the heat; I recommend that you add the right ingredients.  Swing, Salsa, Tango, Rumba and Waltz mix very well together!  But don’t forget to add the other romantic touches as well.  Your commitment will be well rewarded.  We’ll see you on the dance floor and at the marriage retreat!

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