Actually there isn’t anything natural about the love that I’m going to talk about in this post. Maybe I should have titled today’s soapbox Loving Unnaturally…

I was reflecting recently on some interesting exchanges that Tracy and I have had with a couple we ministered to through the Dance of Marriage. They are a really fun couple and are a pleasure to be around. As a matter of fact they could easily be the life of the party in most social situations. There are times though that the dynamic changes. When things aren’t fun anymore they often appear to be at a loss. Outside of fun there seems to be little peace, little patience, little kindness etc… It is like fun is a drug; then when the “fun” high wears off, the withdrawal begins and all bets are off. This couple is not alone in their struggle for harmony. Maybe you have felt the same.

I believe that our nature is often solely focused on the care and feeding of our feelings. It is only natural to pursue fun and self-satisfaction in life and also in our marriage relationship; we frequently see it in the dance partnership. It is very easy to spot a partnership where the dancers are dancing for their own benefit. Our society seeks almost desperately for the “fun” high and feelings of elation. But what happens when the ride stops? Realistically we could never live in perpetual fun; and wouldn’t life have little meaning if we were to try to?

How then can we find fulfillment in life and in relationships outside of a state of elation? I offer that there is only one possibility…, in love. And it is a type of love that is unnatural to us. This love is so filled with security that no matter what state of mind we find ourselves in, we will be at peace.

We can spend a lifetime learning to give and receive this type of love. Our relationships and especially our marriage provide the perfect vehicle for transporting this invaluable treasure. Please, the next time you experience a lack of fun in your relationship, consider it an opportunity to love. It might have an effect that is better than fun!

See you on the dance floor!